Let's preface this new year with a little background on my recent introspection. I have finally realized what I want to do with my education. No, I'll rephrase that. I have finally realized what I want to achieve with my education. I want every girl, preteen, tween, twenty year old, and woman on this planet to have a mostly positive if not 100% positive body image. We spend years of our lives pinching and squeezing and dieting and judging for what? To be viewed as sexy. So what is sexy? Who defines what a woman's body should look like? And who enforces these rules? I have found that the answers to these questions have created a deficit in our culture.
What is sexy? (I used the dictionary for this one.)
- 1. Concerned predominantly or excessively with sex; risque
2. Sexually interesting or exciting; radiating sexuality
3. Excitingly appealing; glamorous
Who defines what a woman's body should look like?
- Men. Not in the sense that there is a committee of twelve men in white wigs with gavels judging images of women and then sending a cavalry out to announce "Thou shalt express sex appeal in this way" but in the sense that we live in a patriarchal society. When men are still the gateway to our economic and social livelihoods even in the slightest sense, and when a monogamous, heterosexual marriage and a nuclear family are still the American Dream,it is safe to say that men define sexuality.
Who enforces body image rules?
- Women. We are cold, calculating, judgmental, and horrible to each other. Seriously. Look in our fashion and beauty magazines, there aren't pictures of men splattered all over the pages telling us how to lose 10 pounds and be great lovers, only pictures of airbrushed and impossibly beautiful women. We look in the mirror and tell ourselves "I am too fat for this" then we go to the club and see another woman and say "Oh my god she looks horrible in that" and we talk to our mothers and sisters and friends about our latest ditch efforts to achieve perfection. None of us are happy. We don't love ourselves, we don't love each other, and we cycle all of this hatred into fad diets and beauty magazines and incessant conversation about how we recently lost weight or tried being a vegetarian or read Skinny Bitch and renewed how badly we feel about ourselves. It is this horrible civil war of girl on girl aggression that perpetuates the myth that we have to look a certain way to be accepted by society.
How is any of this sane?
It isn't, and I don't know how to fix it. But I do know that if I talk about it, and maybe throw some positive light into this period of darkness, maybe I can start to take a crack at the sick cycle. So that is what I'm going to do. I am dedicating this blog to how much I LOVE MY BODY. Because I do. I have struggled with body image and I have gained weight and lost weight and done crazy things to fit into the mold of what someone else defines as sexy and I honestly got tired. This year, this new beginning will be when I start the charge on ending negativity.
I figured out that no matter what I do, my body reverts back to the same comfortable weight, so I stopped fighting with that and started accepting that numbers have and always will piss me off. So I'm done worrying about BMI,and what ways I can soothe myself by seeing three different digits on that little electronic scale that sits by my toilet.
I figured out that I really don't like exercising. I don't like gyms. I don't like running in circles for no reason when what I really want to be doing is sleeping. I do however like moving, hiking, walking, pushing my limits, etc. It makes me feel good. So I'll do that instead.
I figured out that when I eat what I'm craving, I eat pretty healthfully. I am not a vegetarian. I think being vegan goes against nature (you really shouldn't have to work that hard to find food that fits your 'lifestyle'). I love cheese, I crave steak, and if someone told me to stop eating carbs they would get the express route out of my life. I like eating when I'm hungry, whenever that is. It is more often when I'm hormonal and less when I'm busy. I like wine.
I want to start writing about things that make my body feel good, that make my mind feel good. My goal is to make others start to think about what makes their bodies and minds feel good and to stop worrying so much about the other stuff. It's about accepting what you have and doing what makes you happy and moving and using our bodies for what they were built for : living.
I forgot how good it feels to rant about something.
Happy New Year 2011!
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