Okay, so I just got an invite to this AMAZING initiative to unite all the idealists in the world so we can come together and create something beautiful.

http://www.idealist.org/ICA/welcome

That will get you there. Sign up. Love life.

Time to get cryptic...

Sometimes life throws you curveballs, and as many times as you've thought to yourself "it can't happen to me", it can...and it might. But maybe these hitches are meant to slow us down. Tripping and falling (after you're cleaned up) can be the best thing for you because it makes you slow down and look at the steps you're taking. Maybe fate is trying to tell you that you need to look around a little more.

The way things work out

Okay so I didn't quit my job...but I can talk big right? Instead I told him about my Cali plans and with a sigh he said "I knew this day would come, you're too young and too big for Norwalk right now." Then he continued to compliment me and say how awesome I was...and I'm sorry but I can't leave a job like that. There is maybe one in a million times when your boss is truly just an amazing person, and I can't give it up. I mean, I AM really good at being a receptionist...I basically just be me and get paid for it. Short of a six-figure salary it is perfect for now. Also, if my boss could potentially be any cooler, he offered to check and see if he had any associates in the San Diego area that could hook me up with a job. How bad ass is that? His karma meter is seriously kicking up the scale, if he doesn't have a booming amazing practice in the next 6 months I won't be surprised if he wins the lottery.

I will, however, continue to work with him AND pick up two or three more nights a week at Bravo. Who needs sleep? I genuinely enjoy being too busy to spend my money. I am halfway to my savings goal before I move :)!! Go me! Soon I'll be packing up the Focus and hitting the road! I can only hope at some point in my trip I'll be on a coastal mountain road with inspirational music in the background to complete this movie that is my life.

Right now news: I'm eating my second bowl of home made mac and cheese. I am bursting out of my skin I'm so full, but DAMN do I make some good mac and cheese...it is a talent that will take me far in life I'm sure.

Last night I discovered Matisyahu...an artist that is SO amazing he has already topped my favorite list. How did I not know about this before? Reggae music is the beat of my life. He played a concert in Des Moines last night that can only be rivaled by the SOJA concert in Hawaii. The vibes were there, the feeling was there, I abandoned all care and danced how I wanted, it was truly a moment of bliss. Also, my brother talked me (almost) into getting dreads...because I plan to dye my hair even more blonde than it already is, and blonde dreads would be awesome and crazy and fun! Hair grows, might as well do it before I get old! I don't have any reason not too, I don't think San Diego business owners are as anti-dreads as some Iowans. Maybe I'm stereotyping.

Last night I also was that girl again. I wonder what type of reaction people would have if I stopped drinking. I wonder if my curiosity could potentially outweigh my love of conviviality. Care to take a vote?

Okay, I officially cannot eat anymore. I might explode and it would be like those Kraft commercials. A giant spout of cheese would just come out of my stomach. And sure I'd be dead, but you have to admit that it would be pretty cool. It's the way I would want to go, so any crazy murderers out there take note. Force me to eat mac and cheese until I explode. But not yet, there are too many exciting things happening. Wait until I'm 100.

Love Love

PeaceOut

Iowa is passive aggressive

It is getting COLD outside...I am not at all prepared. You'd think spending your whole life in a place where life hibernates for over half the year would make you used to it, but I am not. I want to be warm always.

Anyways, I got a "real" job about a month ago, and I have to be honest...I am going to go back to serving full time. The money is better, and I feel useful, and I don't know. I just don't think this whole 9-5 thing is for me. Maybe it will be if I find a job where I can actually use what I know because right now I'm doing a job easier than the one I had when I was 16. But leaving will be hard because my boss is awesome, chiropractic is awesome, and all in all it isn't a bad job. I just don't think I'm cut out to be a receptionist. This led me to thinking about all my jobs in the past. It is always so much easier to quit when the boss was mean or you were getting the shaft but when there is no reason other than "I don't feel like doing this anymore" it gets harder. Doing what you want isn't easy sometimes, but someone has to be the princess.

For the last however long it's been since I've "blogged" I have managed to bring J-Train back home to Des Moines. Without my partner in drunk I have become "that girl" a few times but I'll own it because, well, I'm used to it. I've had some fun, I've done some things, and I've lived my life but a rut forms fast when I'm here so I've got to get moving.

Plans have been (close to) finalized for my next venture out into the world. First things first, I'm heading back to Cali the 6-9th of November and it couldn't come any sooner!! Maria decided that celebrating her 21st in the cold wasn't ideal and I completely agree, so we decided to fly out for the weekend and get some much needed sunshine. While we're there and starting after that we are getting in touch with friends and looking for jobs and apartment searching because after the holidays this girl is moving out to San Diego! The plan isn't perfect. I'm not doing it the best or smartest or most common way. But I'm going. My dad told me that I have a habit of making snap decisions and plowing headfirst into whatever I'm doing without looking up and around and seeing the other ways. I agree. Maybe it's a personality flaw, but it's me, and I'm happy....and in less than 3 months I'm going to be soaking up sunshine and making choices and living. That is all that matters :)

I finally have a swing of things to get back into...

So I got a job...score! It's a serving job, I waitress at Bravo! serving expensive Italian food to people who the economy has not apparently affected. Seriously, there is no "slow day" in this place, there are always people in there eating. Craziness. Anywho, I may not have the job of a college graduate's dreams, but I am nevertheless making money which is more than I can say for some people I know.

Let's see, what else is new...I live with my parents, which has reintroduced me to all kinds of house rules that I forgot how to follow. Things like, doing laundry more than once or twice a month; putting said clean laundry away instead of leaving it in a clean laundry pile; letting my parent's know when "I'll be home after work" accidentally becomes coming home hungover the next morning. But I will exchange the time spent on chores and phonecalls for living here rent free while I save up some money. I am truly grateful for my family...they don't even complain that I am here eating up resources, they are just happy to have me home and eager to see me succeed. It is awesome.

Other than that, the people I work with seem to kick ass. I think I have found my niche in the workplace as usual, being the outspoken and potentially inappropriate girl. I'm (surprise surprise) still single and not on the prowl for a relationship. I am however noticing distinctive differences in the environment change. Everyone my age is pregnant and married, pregnant but not married, or clammering to become one of the above. This makes me stick out ever so slightly, so I keep to my forced-celibate self and give the cold shoulder to any potential hook up, because the last thing I need is some guy thinking we're going to have a relationship. I never thought these words would escape my lips but I miss the freedom of college town culture. At least those douchebags aren't needy.

Stay happy :) Love everyone

Persian Love -- I didn't write this but would marry who did

1

Ah! My beard swept the floor of the tavern last night. I bid farewell to good and bad, and if they fall in my street like two bullets, you’ll find me - if you’re looking for me - sleeping like a drunk.

2

I fell asleep and a sage spoke to me: “The rose of happiness has never blossomed for anyone while he sleeps. Why give yourself up to the brother of death? Drink wine, you have centuries to sleep.”

3

Every bed of tulips was nourished with the blood of kings. Every lily that springs from the earth was once a beauty spot on a lover’s cheek.

4

To drink wine and embrace beauty is better than the hypocrisy of believers. If lovers and drunks were sent to hell, no-one would believe in heaven.

5

Beloved dervish, with your body wrapped in that arabesque veil ... rather than sacrifice your body to that veil, throw the weight of poverty on your shoulders and drums will beat royal marches in your heart.

6

Imitate the libertines as much as you can. Blow up the foundations of prayer and abstinence, and listen to the words of Omar Khayyam: “Get high and fly through the sky.”

7

I’ve been beyond being and non-being. I’ve been inside everything high and low. It would bring shame to my knowledge of the world if I found something higher than drunkenness.

8

Today the season of youth blossomed for me. I want the wine that brings all pleasure. Don’t blame me, wine enchants me. It’s bitter because it tastes like my life.

9

For us now, all that remains of happiness is the name. No old friend lasts as long as the youngest wine. Raise your cup because today, it’s the only thing that can save us.

10

I drink wine and everyone tells me: “Don’t drink wine, it’s the enemy of religion.” When I found out that wine was the enemy of religion, I said: “By God, let me drink its blood - it’s an act of piety.”

11

Who cares if life ends here or there? Once the cup is full, who cares if it’s been bitter or sweet? Drink wine, for after we pass the moon will pass from old to new, and from new to old again and again.

12

No-one knows the secrets of darkness. No-one has stepped out of the shadows. Oh, woman, what sinister mouth did you kiss to give birth to helpless fools like us?

13

Drink wine, it’s what remains of the harvest of youth - the season of roses and wine and drunken friends. Be happy for a moment, that moment’s your life.

14

Be prudent - fortune is uncertain and the wine of destiny is always bitter. If fate puts sweet morsels in your mouth, don’t swallow them; they’re laced with poison.

15

Wine is a liquid ruby and the cup a mine. No, that’s not it. The cup is the body and the wine its soul. No, no, the crystal cup laughing with wine is a tear hiding the blood of a broken heart.

16

We’ve come back to our habitual debauch. Full of desire, I put my lips to the cup to ask how long I’ll live. She glued her lips to mine and said: “Drink wine, you’ll never come back to this world.”

17

We all get wiped out on the path of love. Destiny drinks our last dreg. Waitress with the soft face, don’t be lazy now. Give me wine because I’m becoming dust.

18

Like water in a stream, or wind across the desert, another day of your life passes. One sorrow never comes to mind - that of two days: the day to come, and the day that passed.

19

Be happy, Khayyam, if you’re drunk. If you’re with a tulip-cheeked lover, be happy. As the end of everything is nothing, dream that you’re nothing. But while you’re still something, be happy.

20

Mysteries should only be unveiled by vile minds, and impenetrable secrets by fools. Think about your actions compared to others - for now you should hide your hopes from all of humanity.

21

Don’t waste your time on sorrows, be festive. In the face of injustice, be the example of justice. Since the end of this world is nothingness, imagine you don’t exist and be free.

22

Every morning, dew covers the tulips. Violets lower their heads in the garden. In truth, nothing moves me like the bud of a rose gathering up her skirt.

23

This heavenly vault that inspires so much wonder is a magic lantern. The sun is the lamp and the world its shade. And we’re the images that live in it.

24

I have to get up and find some wine. It makes my cheeks scandalously red. And if reason continues to torment me, I’ll throw wine in its face...to make it go to sleep.

25

You with the cheeks modeled on wild roses. You with the face cast from the idols of China. Yesterday, your loving look changed the king of Babylon into a fool.

26

Those who are slaves of the intellect and vain subtleties die amid quarrels on being and non-being. Go on, choose the juice of the grape, because idiots, having eaten dry raisins, turn into grapes.

27

No-one can pass behind the curtain of secrets, no-one knows what’s under the surface. There’s no asylum except in the heart of the earth. Drink wine, these illusions are endless.

28

My arrival adds nothing to the heavens. And my departure doesn’t diminish their beauty or glory. No-one has told me the reason for this arrival and departure of mine. No-one.

29

When they attack you in the night, ask them to bring you rose-colored wine. Poor fool, you’re not a treasure that’s dug up after it’s been buried.

30

In spring, on the banks of a stream or on the fringes of a green field with a few friends and nymphs, bring along the bottle for those who drink the morning draft, for those who are free from the mosque, temple and church.

31

I only dreamed of the heavens as a resting place, and I cried so much I could hardly see them. Hell is only a spark compared to what my soul just went through, and I won’t believe in heaven until I taste an instant of peace.

32

Drink wine because you’ll sleep for a long time under this earth ... without friends, comrades, women. Grow old never telling this secret to anyone: withered flowers never blossom again.

33

What I want is a drop of ruby wine, a book of poems, and a half a loaf of bread to sustain my life. And if I’m sitting with you, even in a desolate desert, I’d be happier than in the kingdom of a sultan.

34

Spill a little red wine, the color of budding tulips. Pour the pure blood from the throat of the bottle because, apart from this cup, I don’ exist - it’s the only pure-hearted friend I have.

35

If I was free to come, I wouldn’t have come. If I could control my steps, where would I go? Wouldn’t it be better in this world of dust if there were no coming or going.

36

Since nothing assures us of tomorrow, change your lovesick heart into a happy one. In the light of the astral moon, drink wine. We could look for it tomorrow and never see it again.

37

Don’t make too many friends and only let your guard down for brief moments. He whose arm seems like a support, check him out and be careful.

38

Woe to the heart that beats without passion, that isn’t charmed by love, the joy of the heart ... Every day you spend without love? Why it’s not worth the sun that shines for you or the moon that consoles you.

39

To speak clearly and without parables, we’re pieces in the game played by fate; it’s amused with our moves on the chessboard of being, and then we return, one by one, into the box of nothingness.

40

Get up and get me some wine. It this the time for hollow words? Today, your little mouth satisfies all my desires. Give me rose-colored wine, the color of your cheeks.

41

Everything that will be, was written. The tireless pen writes without worrying about good or bad. The first day it decided what will be; our pain and efforts are in vain.

42

Drink wine, it’s eternal life. It’s what remains in you of youthful delights. It burns like fire, turning sorrows into the fountain of youth. Drink!

43

I want my epitaph to read like this: Friends, once you’re reunited, think tenderly of me. When you drink the generous wine together, and it’s my turn, empty your cup to the bottom.

44

Drink wine, one day your body will be dust. And of that dust will be made cups and jars. Don’t worry about heaven and hell - why would a sage worry about such things?

45

In defense of wine, recall that everything depends on who drinks it, its quality and on the company. Once these conditions are favorable, you might ask: “Who drinks wine, if not a sage?”

46

Khayyam, working in the tents of wisdom, fell into the fire of sadness and was consumed at once. The scissors of destiny cut the cord of his tent and the salesman of hope sold it for a song.

47

In a thousand places along my path you set traps. You say: “I’ll catch you if you step in one of these.” There’s not an atom in this world that escapes your power. You ordain everything, and you call me a rebel.

48

If this spirit called pure wine is the cure for a devastated heart, then bring me two or three cups. Why, I ask, is this great drink called the accursed share?

49

For those who know the mysteries of this world, happiness and sadness are identical. Since both good and bad come to an end, who cares if everything is pain or bliss?

50

How long will I throw stones to the sea? I’m disgusted with the idolaters of the temple. Who knows for sure if Khayyam will dwell in hell? And who has ever gone to hell? And who again, has ever come back from heaven?

51

If a nymph came to me in spring with a goblet full of wine on the fringe of a green field, and even if this seems strange to everyone, a dog would be better than me if I invoked the name of heaven.

52

Good and bad are part of human nature just as happiness and sadness are in our destiny. Don’t accuse heaven of this, because heaven is a thousand times more helpless than you.

53

I could care less if I was made for heaven or hell. But a little to eat, a little wine and my lover on a green field - that’s cash for me. Keep the heaven you give so much credit - keep it for yourself.

54

Today, tomorrow is beyond you, and your anxiety over it is useless. If your heart isn’t momentarily deranged, you don’t even worry about the present. Do you know what the rest of your days are worth?

55

The intelligence that walks the path of bliss talks to me a hundred times a day: “You’re not like the grass that once picked, grows again.”

56

Limit your desires for the things of the world and live at ease. Detach yourself from the good and bad around you. Lift a cup to your lover’s lips, for soon these days will pass.

57

It’s said that the garden of Eden enchants the nymph. I say that only the juice of the grape is delightful. Keep your cash and forgo credit because the sound of the drum, my brother, is only delightful from afar.

58

The heavenly bodies bewilder sages. Take care or you’ll lose the thread of wisdom, for even the wise lose their minds.

59

The caravan of life passes mysteriously. Climb aboard for the joy of the ride. And you with the bottle, why worry about the future of your friends? Pour the wine, the night is passing.

60

Bring me that ruby wine in a crystal glass, that confidant and friend of every free man. Since you know that this world of dust is only a passing breeze, bring on the wine.

61

Like me, this bottle has been a painful lover, avidly tilted toward some sweet face. The handle you see on its neck is the hand that was once wrapped around the neck of a lover.

62

Everyone who waters the plant of love never wastes a day of their lives. And that’s if they submit to the will of god, or if they desire physical pleasure and raise the glass.

63

Who hasn’t seen truth grow and ripen on its slippery footing? I’ll tell you who. Those inclined toward science who think that today is like yesterday and tomorrow, and just like the very first day.

64

It’s a fine day - the breeze is warm and pure. Rain has washed the cheeks of the rose, and the nightingale calls to her: “I’m drunk on your perfume.”

65

Once a cup is made for wine, a drinker won’t let it break. For whose love, after all, were the ornaments sculpted? And whose hate broke so many heads?

66

The breeze of spring brightens the cheeks of the rose, just as the shadows of the garden soften the faces of lovers. No talk of yesterday moves me. Be happy today, don’t mention yesterday.

67

Know this my friend - you and your soul will be separated. You’ll pass behind the curtain of nonexistence. Be happy, you don’t know where you’re from. Drink wine, you don’t know where you’ll go.

68

One cup of wine is worth a hundred hearts and religions. One draft of wine is worth the kingdom of China. Except for ruby wine, there’s nothing bitter that’s worth a thousand sweet souls.

69

Here we are, drunken minstrels in this ruined tavern that frees us from the hope of mercy and the fear of punishment. Our souls, hearts and cups are filled with the wine that frees us from earth, wind, fire and water.

Coolio and the Gang

So I've lived at home for a couple weeks now. It is interesting to say that aside from a few new strip malls and a Fareway, Norwalk has remained entirely the same.

The Iowa State Fair is going to be my topic for the day, and that is big, because it is early in the day. I have attended twice now this year and gotten my fill of large animals, varied industries, and of course what I lovingly refer to as the freak show. The freak show happens around 9pm when (most of) the families leave and the midway fills with carnies, drunk teenagers, drunk adults, and a myriad of fun hairstyles, clothing choices, lifestyles, et cetera. It is truly the best of the best of Iowa. I can only stop and wonder what immediate judgement people make about me when I pass them by at 11pm with a margarita in hand, oohing and ahhing at the fireworks.

Every year, for 11 days, the fair hosts free concerts, usually by area artists and sometimes by and up and comer who wants to hit it big. This year, we had Coolio. What is fabulous about watching a Coolio concert is realizing that he is most likely bridging his 40's (if he isn't already there) and has still decided that the best hairstyle would come volcano-ing out of his hat through a pre-cut hole. Also, Coolio takes his new rap VERY seriously, but still played the three Coolio songs that I knew when I was too young to be listening to my brothers' CDs. Anyways, the concert was fun, the rest of the night was enjoyable, I move on to the bar...

So Coolio walks into a bar....

I compliment him on his show and get ignored, which I thought rude and unnecessary. Strike 1. Coolio is enticed into entering the DJ booth and freestyling for a few minutes. Definitely awesome, but I've heard friends freestyle better than Coolio, no judgement, let the guy get his last 15 minutes. Coolio begins hitting on girls my age, that I know, and is successful. Strike 2. This time for the girls. I know we're from Iowa but have some pride and go get on Twista when he comes to Iowa City, at least he is still swinging from the coattails of his fame. THEN Coolio buys a shot for the bar (awesome) but only keeps the offer open for a few minutes, so when I arrived at the bar from the patio, I missed the free shot. That my friend is strike 3. You're out.

But all in all I like a few of his new songs, and will most likely try to find his saxophone playing cousin on youtube because he was amazing!

Life is good in the hood.

That was fun...Next?

So I've been home for approximately 48 hours. It was fun and all, but the last three weeks have made my location-attention span ridiculously short. So far I have: gone out with an old friend and seen people I sort of know so I smile instead of start a conversation; made pretend plans with friends who also have started their own lives and don't have time for the plans; made dinner for my parents and had lively discussion; visited grandparents; applied for jobs... Des Moines and Norwalk have very little to offer to my constantly active mind. Perhaps I will get a job or two soon and be able to congest my time with that and save some money.

Maria has been in communication with some people about a house in San Diego! Looks like we will be moving in in late December! I can't wait to go suck the life out of San Diego until I can find the time to get bored and then look for my next adventure.

I'm doing my best not to be in the waiting place and make the most out of living at home but it is hard to do, as I've discovered before. I have a few goals set for myself in order to truly enjoy my home instead of seeing it as passe. I have already cut my wardrobe in less than half. It feels good being able to get rid of things that were weighing me down and taking up space. I plan on getting a hold of a hospital in Des Moines that provides free amenities to people who really need the help. I figure there are hundreds of women my size in Des Moines that could certainly use the clothes that were forgetten in the back of my closet in favor of my usual jeans, tshirt, or sundress. As I mentioned before I've been applying for jobs like mad hoping that two or three respond positively (I'm used to not sleeping, and money would be fabulous right now!) If I happen to only get one or two jobs, I'd really like to look into what kind of volunteering Des Moines has to offer. And I'm reading. Lots and lots of reading!

But I know I can't not go to California, at least for a little bit. It's like going to a store and something fitting perfectly when you never expected it...you just can't leave it on the shelf you have to splurge, be a little spontaneous, maybe regret it for 20 minutes on the way home but put it on and realize "DAMN....this looks good on me" This has been Janssen's simile of the day :) enjoy accordingly

Anyways, I'm off to make poor decisions for my liver and waistline with tequila.

XO

Home...hmmm

Well it's about 3 am and due to caffiene consumption I am NOT tired...

In 12 hours I will be on my flight back home to Des Moines. But coming home this time won't be the same as coming home has been for the past couple years. This time I have moved back in with my parents; no more Iowa City, no more school, just life. I am anticipating what it will be like to be back in Norwalk, back to old friends, back to life as a Windflower kid. Now that I'm 21 and not 17 I know things are bound to be different, and without school I'm about to run into a lot of free time. Also on the weird factor is that I am not going to be with Destiny 24/7 which will seem downright alien considering in the last 2 years I've gone literally two weeks without seeing her and we were in constant contact the whole time. Thank god I have unlimited texting for one, but for another we are both social bugs so I know we'll make friends to spend days with right away. Will the friendship change? I guess we'll see. I'm on the job market (again) which I hate because I always feel worthless when I'm not making money. This vacation has taken me down to about $ .75 in my bank account and was worth every single penny but now I'm in a bit of a pickle when it comes to everything else.

I am back in the in between place.

Destiny said something to me the other day that I have been marinating on: she said that the only thing tying me down to Des Moines or holding me back from going somewhere new is myself. I started to wonder about the barriers I have solidly in place for my life. Why don't I just pick up and move? The number one reason is of course lack of financial means to get me anywhere and feed me until I find a makeshift job. Number two is my family, I know I need to live my life but the excitement of moving far away is nearly equal to how much I know I will miss my parents and brothers. Even in Iowa City I sometimes felt too far. Lastly and maybe most prominently is the fact that I hate being alone. The thought of being in a city where no one knows me has always been a bit of a fantasy of mine, being able to have a completely clean slate, but it is also sort of terrifying.

So is being an adult.

Maria and D are both graduating come December and we started throwing the idea of an apartment in San Diego around. That would be a perfect opportunity to move forward and away but like many ideas only time will tell if it will actually happen.

I don't know. I suppose this blog doesn't have much of a point...I'm just stuck in my head right now and I figured a little writing would clear things up but it hasn't! I suppose I'll just close my eyes and think until I fall asleep!

Lullaby and goodnight, go to sleep now sweet baby

Close your eyes and start to yawn, pleasant dreams until the dawn.

When the sun starts to rise, you will wake feeling spry.

Start your day with a smile, life is really worth while.

All good things come to an end

First night in Flagstaff we spent at a wine bar meeting new people and playing Taboo! We teamed up, girls vs. guys and although the guys tried to cheat to win, the girls owned it even with two of them speaking mostly in Spanish!! Yesterday we went to Sedona, AZ to hike around and look at rocks. Sedona is incredibly beautiful, and there are supposedly energy vortexes in strategic places caused by rocks and other other-worldly type stuff. I definitely felt the energy at Airport Mesa where we could climb onto the actual rock vortex. I felt like my hands fell asleep (the tingly) but they hadn't, super fun and weird. The second, Cathedral Rock, was gorgeous but I felt less energy because we didn't get very close to the actual rock. Instead, along our hike, we were distracted by a wading pool that had a rope swing in it! Not one to ignore an opportunity to jump off of something into a body of water I was hooked. When we came back to Jason's (our wonderful host/pizza iron chef) we were greeted with a homemade pizza party! 8 different delicious varieties of pizza, wine, good people, fun conversation, it was amazing. After the pizza party started to die down our party heated up with Drambuie, Crown Royal, and some ambiguous plastic bottle that was labeled "cranberry liquer" and tasted like cough syrup. Misspelling and taste aside we drank and drank and drank. Off to the bars again for some pool and dancing and fun. On the walk home Destiny decided to walk up to a random house party and ask for "Mike". Mike unfortunatley was not in attendance but we were invited to come in and listen to the live music for a bit. All in all Flagstaff was way fun, I could see myself living here much like I could see myself living all of the places we've visited and I loved.

Yesterday a tragic thing happened as well, I bought a plane ticket back to Des Moines from Phoenix. In a strange swing of things I was not able to use one of my flight vouchers so the ticket was way too expensive. It is like United knows I should just stay here and get a job, throw caution to the wind and live in Arizona for a while until I can move elsewhere. Sadly logic and responsibility have taken hold, maybe because I know that the vacation is over :(

The Desert

Northern Cali is amazing. I really really liked San Francisco, I explored all the little holes and liked them all, but July and August are the coldest months of the year there (fog) so I was in a sweatshirt the whole time. California in general just proved to be one of the most beautiful places I've been. In one state you can have any climate and atmosphere you want from a city like L.A. to the outdoors in Yosemite. I could definitely see myself living someplace like that, where I could be whoever I wanted and do whatever I want. Definitely something to think about, but from all this exploring I have realized that I'm not sure if I could settle anywhere for too long, there is too much to see. Destiny and I have talked about the East coast, re-exploring the West coast, and of course Europe! We'll see where life takes me :)

Moving on..

Road trip from San Francisco to Las Vegas was beautiful for the time we were on the coast. We took the coastal highway for a little over two hours and I saw huge waves and early morning surfers, after we veered in back east it was mostly desert with a few dead-looking shrubs and very very small towns. We stopped for an oil change in Gilroy, CA and met a very attractive Precision Auto employee and learned to stay away from the north side of the Vegas strip. Then I peed behind a sand dune somewhere in the middle of the Mojave desert and almost got eaten alive by fire ants, and then finally as the sun set I saw the lights of Vegas sticking out in the middle of nothingness.

Let me preface this by saying that Las Vegas is a mecca of everything that is wrong with the United States. Gluttony, Excess, Power, Greed, I could go on. We entered and went immediately to the Marriott where we showered and got ready for the evening. I decided animal print was appropriate and off we went to club XS. We were on the guest list (thank you Stefan) so we got in right away without cover. Destiny, Auren, and Jonathon somehow partied a little harder than I did in the hotel so I was left moderately sober with the drunkest people in the bar. It was a little complicated but definitely fun as I managed to talk not one but 4 people into buying me 12 dollar drinks. Destiny and I headed back to fall asleep and the guys got a free limo to the Spearmint Rhino, a strip club that the guys could only describe as "wow". The next morning Destiny and I decided to pregame for our afternoon then head out to the strip for tapas and sangria. It was 104 degrees in Las Vegas. If you don't realize how hot that is, imagine this...Destiny's brown heels (that we thought were made of wood) melted from the heat. MELTED. They are now 1/2 an inch shorter but luckily still wearable. When we got back the guys were awake so we made evening plans that started with an all-you-can-eat buffet Vegas style with more food than I could ever need. Out we went to what we found out was one of the hottest clubs in the country, Pure. Once again we were on the guest list (geniosity on Auren's part) so we avoided cover or a line. We split up by gender immediately. D and I went to the upstairs, outdoor part of the bar where we proceeded to dance and share a drink. A guy passed us once, twice, then stopped to talk and invite us to his VIP booth. D and I were in Las Vegas, at one of the hottest clubs, dancing behind the DJ booth with one of the best DJs. Life is good. Behind the VIP ropes was a story in itself. We had bottle service with various juices and learned all about just how materialistic Vegas is. One guy was taking pictures with girls our age and sending them to his 15 year old daughter, another was talking about how many gallons his pool holds, and they were all obsessed with how important they were. I could never live in Vegas.

The next morning we packed up and headed out for the Grand Canyon, arriving in time to pitch a tent and have a campfire. Upon awaking we went straight to the trails, completely ignoring the suggestion to not hike in the middle of the day. It was HOT in the canyon and we only hiked until we realized that half a can of soup was not an appropriate amount of food to support my body on a canyon hike that was all uphill on the way back. Regardless of exhaustion it was beautiful. Breathtaking that something that big exists not just in the world but in the country that I live in and I have never seen it. Truly mind blowing. Also we saw a heard of female elk (HUGE) and thankfully did not see a mountain lion (but I swear I heard one outside our tent).

Then it was on the road again and now I find myself in Flagstaff...off to a wine bar then a live show then Sedona tomorrow. Keep in touch for some positive energy!

XO

Humbled

I don't know how I could have forgotten this, probably because I was in a burrito-induced coma. Before going to bed in Santa Barbara, we ate at a lovely little place called Freebird's. Freebird's is like Panchero's and Chipotle if they got 10,000x sexier and more delicious. Did I get a regular burrito? No, I got a MONSTER burrito, which is approximately the size of my skull with three scoops of meat, refried beans, rice, cilantro, onions, salsa, guacamole, sour cream, cheese, and love. How did I finish this do you ask? Well as the other three in my party were like "ohhhh I can't eat anymore" and "oh my god I think I'm going to be full for a week" I was like "I haven't eaten all day, we went to six flags, and I am a ravenous wolf who will not only finish this MONSTER burrito but also a side of chips and salsa". I don't claim to be a lady, but who doesn't want a woman who can eat? Anyways, burrito slammed, blog written, fell asleep in lovely Santa Barbara on an air mattress with my hetero lovebug.

We were co-surfing with two guys from Liverpool (they seriously could've been the beatles) who were just exploring as well. They Greyhounded most of their trip and were doing as much cheap to free stuff as they could. They ate eggs and vegetables every day that they had a kitchen and pretty much went without anything else. I find this inspiring because I have eaten out way too much and spent ridiculous amounts of money in the past week and a half. Perhaps I should be more frugal. Sam and Ian were musicians. They asked us questions such as "how easy would it be to jump a train?" and "if we don't want to pay for a campsite at Yosemite could we just pitch a tent in the woods?" They didn't like bears, sharks, the thought of getting killed in Mexico, or seaweed. I liked them a lot.

The next morning we ventured into downtown Isla Vista to find out it is about 1.5 square miles, so after the city tour and another visit to Freebird's for the best steak sandwich ever we hit the beach. Once again in absolute perfection we asked where the beach was and rendered the response "about 3 streets that way". Why have I stayed in Iowa so long? I need to live here in this state that has real beaches within walking distance. The beach was a scene out of a college summer beach movie of the '50s: boys were playing catch, girls were laying out and watching, the water came in subtle waves, someone in the distance had a boombox playing, simply wonderful. After that we got ready for the night and went to downtown Santa Barbara. After plans for a nice Italian meal fell through we found a place called The Palace Grill. Even though they closed five minutes before we arrived we were greeted, seated, and served like kings. Cajun food had never tasted so good, we got free muffins and bread pudding, and they served Turbo Dog (only one of my top 3 favorite beers). How could the night improve? Perhaps by finding a bar with live reggae music and cheap Mexican beer. Destiny and I perched at a high-top table and sipped our Tecate outside while the band played inside and oh did we meet some characters. First was Harold* (names have been changed due to lost memories) the personal chef to the wealthy who wore a "cali green" shirt but had a handful of excuses why he was not in possession of any cali green. Then we met Crazy (name changed due to appropriateness of new name) who was a firefighter from San Francisco. He may have been on speed, told us about going out in the marina, and tried to kiss me in the most awkward way possible. Then there was Blake whose name I remember for whatever reason. His introduction to us was him speaking loudly to some foreigners about why being an American made him angry. He had a lot of political opinions so I stopped listening as he droned on about pessimism and blah blah blah. Left the bar to pee in, yes, another parking garage :) then drove through the night to arrive in Yosemite by 9 am.

Yosemite is in one word...humbling. We set up camp and got immediately to hiking what was supposed to be a four mile trail. After going off trail for who knows how long we ended up on an eight hour hike through the forest and the mountains. My legs are still sore from the hour long uphill trek but it was so worth it. I hung my feet off a 6,000 foot tall cliff and took amazing pictures atop a mountain that offered a 360 degree view of the valley. I've never felt so small and insignificant, and yet so amazingly one with everything around me. I was 4 inches away from certain death crosslegged with my eyes closed and felt like part of the mountain. It was amazing, probably the most inspiration moment of this trip so far. I can't wait to see the Grand Canyon and other parts of this country that render me speechless.

After Yosemite we drove up to San Francisco. The bay area is beautiful. Destiny and I were eyeballing a couple of guys on the highway while the boys slept. We soon discovered that there was a child in the back seat of our flirting object, awwwwkward. Went to Fisherman's Wharf, VERY fishy. After couchsurfing plans fell through we stayed with Auren's super hospitable cousin in Albany which is about two blocks from Berkeley. Berkeley, aside from being a college town, is amazing. The culture is so free and artsy and centered. Today we happened upon People's Park which is worth googling if you get the time. It is a tract of land that was going to be turned into a parking lot had the people not resisted and now it is a mecca for students, the homeless, the arts and music scene, local kids, etc. Iowa City could stand a place like this. I helped a man do a Muhammed Ali puzzle and watched guys play basketball and got offered weed by a guy under a tree. Now I'm at Peets, a coffee shop that was founded by the same men who founded Starbucks. I prefer Peets.

New concept of the day: Medical Tourism - going to different countries for cheap medical procedures.

New thought: How much do we let our hair define and confine us?

Newest place I've publically peed: Destiny's foot

Vegas here I come.

Life is Wonderful

7/22/09 3:29am

I can’t believe how life changing this trip has been already. When I left you I was digesting some delicious bacon in L.A. and now I write lying on an air mattress in the beautiful Isla Vista, an adjacent of Santa Barbara. The past few days have proven to be everything I wanted, so I will recount them as best as I can recall…

Shortly after breakfast when I last wrote, Destiny and I met up with Auren and Jonathon and their friend who became our friend Sid. We drove out to Hermosa Beach, which took 3 hours in ridiculous traffic, but we got there in time to jump in the water once (a feat that took some major convincing on my part) and have a few drinks and a good talk; took a drive back to Sid and his many roommates’ house in Redondo Beach, got into party dresses, and headed out to a few bars near Hollywood. The Velvet Margarita had crazy patio dancing and The Room had crazy expensive shots leaving the parking garage to be my favorite memory of the night. After bar close we headed back to the car, I peed in yet another parking garage in my life, we took some pulls of a bottle of Seagram’s, and Destiny convinced Jonathon that we should lift the gate ourselves instead of paying our fare. He obliged immediately causing a security guard ruckus and the Saab’s ban from that parking garage. Ever again. Too funny. We crashed at stranger-to-friend Travis’ apartment that he was house sitting. I shared a floor with some cats but I got some chicken fingers and afterhours pizza so the night was a success.

The next morning Destiny and I woke earlier than everyone else (not uncommon after a late night) and took a walk around Detroit St. and the surrounding area. I saw up close the largest wacky inflatable arm-flailing tube men in the world. They are actually quite terrifying and loud, but still fun J. Returned to the apartment to find the boys mostly awake so we continued our day. This time we headed to the beach at a reasonable time, giving us the opportunity to soak up some much needed sun and enjoy more stranger-to-friend time with Sid, Travis, and now Garret as well as the original foursome of vagabonds. Sean found us and we had a great reunion of the five minds who decided that life was ours to create. Then it was back to Redondo Beach to get ready for a Friday night out in the Hermosa area. We arrived at the house and had a quick pick up game of basketball where I made the first jump shot of my life! Then as we wound through the back door we discovered the pool and water slide that was originally unmentioned and of course jumped straight in. Walked inside to meet more roommates, one of which is the e-author of an e-book that teaches women how to talk dirty to their men. I am all about sexual liberation for women and the removal of archetypes and double standards but I don’t know how I feel about allowing a man to define what is sexy and what our sexuality should be…I digress, the book was entertaining at least and now I am part of the email list sexiness. Headed out to Hermosa pier to a bar where Jonathon and Destiny split from me. After an hour I realized I was surrounded by strangers and decided to go where I knew people so I called up a few Cali friends and tried to find my way out to Hollywood. The VERY generous cab driver pulled over when I told him my location and informed me that my cab ride would be 70 dollars and that I should just find out where my friends there were. I found them and headed to an afterhours party where I fell asleep immediately. On the way home Auren and I stopped at Carl’s Jr/Green Burrito and got one of the most delicious burritos of my life then promptly fell asleep on the couch.

The next morning was funny because dirty e-author Adam was having a yard sale so the passed out vagrants on the couch became a spectacle for prospective buyers. We didn’t scare too many away thankfully. I woke early, put on my swimsuit top, and fell asleep on the back deck by the pool while I soaked in some vitamin d and listened to the gardener garden. Jumped in the pool when the others woke up and we discussed our upcoming journey to San Diego. After all was decided, two girls and four guys piled into a car for an intensely uncomfortable hour and a half drive south. We arrived and searched for a hotel, hostel, or couch to sleep on. We thought our luck had run out so we went to a hotel to pay too much for two single beds. Right as we were about to process the transaction my big brother’s friend Blake who was in San Diego for work called me and graciously offered to share his downtown, 5-star hotel room with us. Let me side-step the story to mention how awestruck I am by the generosity of friends. I only hope that I am a good enough friend that I could elicit this kind of response in a time of need. Back to the tale, after accepting this amazing offer we found the first beach we could and smoked hookah, watched the sunset, and played two-on-two football where I was MVP and game winning quarterback! After showering and getting ready for a night in the gas lamp district, Blake invited us out to chill with him and a few work friends. We started at a tavern and ended at a club and it was all amazingly fun!

The next day we convinced Blake that work was unnecessary and we took a ferry to Coronado Island. Before catching the boat we ate fish tacos and I saw a submarine, very very cool! Coronado Beach, according to travel websites, is the number four beach in the country and it lived up to its name beautifully. The pyrite in the water sparkled like gold to make it look like we were swimming in glitter. On the walk back to the ferry we happened upon a weekend festival with live music and dancing and couldn’t help but join when the band belted out Brown Eyed Girl. We danced to oldies for an hour, learned the hand jive, and made friends with women who gave us amazing bean dip. Oh to retire in a place that has live music festivals every Sunday. Sounds like heaven to me. Went back to San Diego and got a cheap Marriott room thanks to Destiny and went back to the tavern we started at.

I bonded immediately with San Diego. The weather and people and vibe were all things I seriously enjoyed. After expressing this to Blake, he offered to spread my resume around and then said that when I get a job out there, I can sleep on his couch until I find an apartment of my own. He is not only my new favorite person, but that is right friends, within the next couple months it’s goodbye Iowa for good!

Back into the car with six people and back to Redondo Beach. We decided to go to the infamous Saddle Ranch instead of a bar to watch a mechanical bull-riding competition. It was hilarious, and they sold massive AMF’s (if you don’t know what it is then you probably still have remainders of a liver and soul) and I was backwardly talked into riding the bull. Sid told me that I absolutely couldn’t handle a level 9 ride. I rebutted with the fact that I have been thrown from an angry mule in my life so an animatronic bull would not be the end of me. So there I was in the middle of Saddle Ranch on the mechanical bull. The control man started me at a 7 which was a glorified merry-go-round ride so Sid convinced him to kick up the power. He took me to an 8 and I rode like a true champion, not falling even with the swiftest swings. He then took it upon himself to attempt to sexualize my bull-ride with body shaking and that just upset me so I evil-eyed him and dismounted on the next swing. I have a crazy inner-thigh bruise and a video to remember the night.

That brings me to today’s festivities. Auren and Jonathon have entirely too much stuff in the first place in our road trip car, so adding four bags and two people seemed impossible without extra storage. But never, and I repeat never, challenge a tightwad packrat to either pack the car or pay $300 for a storage bin. I had that car packed with room for both Destiny and I in one hour. We bought tickets to Six Flags Magic Mountain and said our goodbyes to our first hosts. Off to Valencia California for a crazy roller coaster rocking out America time! I have not been to a theme park since the 7^th grade so my hangover and fear of roller coasters threatened to ruin the day, but after my first ride on X2 I was ready to go. We rode every roller coaster in the park, leaving time for a second ride on two of our favorites. I had quite possibly the best time I’ve ever had at an amusement park and we stayed for 10 hours. Each line we thought we were hungry but after the adrenaline rush we would forget to eat and race to the next ride. It was amazing! The park closed at 10pm and the weariness started in so off to Santa Barbara we went for my second couch surfing experience. So here I lie, typing this blog on an air mattress. I love this trip, more than I think even I can comprehend right now. Tomorrow we are planning on a beach adventure, maybe staying another night, then off to camp at Yosemite.

I don’t even know how this could get better but I know it will.

Jonathon may snore louder than me. That is saying a lot.

Jim Croce is an amazing road trip partner.

I love my life.

"Do you know her?...Be careful"

Yesterday as I boarded the plane from Denver to L.A. the ticket-taker glances back at Destiny with her sombrero and heels and asks "Do you know her?" This seemed pretty obvious to me, because I was wearing a matching sombrero but I responded "yes." He just shook his head and said "be careful"

I digress

First morning in L.A. The weather is AMAZING! Today we plan to meet up with Auren and Jonathon and possibly go to a beach, where I will wear sunscreen to avoid becoming a crab person but it will only be SPF 15 because a girl's got to tan when she's in California people!! I drank, quite possibly too much, last night and went to a bar called The Perfect Fit where the bartender was pretty hot, you could buy a hookah for 15 bucks, and we were one of the only degenerates who wanted to get drunk on a Wednesday. Before entering I drank SoCo straight from the bottle, chasing with a little bottle of RealLime juice in Jorge's truck. All good decisions.

This morning Maria's beautiful mother made us eggs and bacon and these biscuits that were all flaky and layer-y. I have got to ask what kind they are. I don't know about any of you, but bacon is seriously the best cure in the world for this girl's drunk tummy. So now I write, coffee in hand, before we go spend our second night of the DJ where life can only possibly get better!

More shameless flirting
More excessive drinking
More Hookah
More Love :)

'breros

Short for sombreros, which is fun to say, but better to shorten!

I am in the Denver International Airport anxiously awaiting Destiny and my flight to L.A. I am wearing a sombrero, which has not been questioned but has been: silently judged, smiled at, heartily approved, and concerned for...among I'm sure countless other things that facial expressions cannot emote.

Already, just hours into our journey, Destiny and I have met a woman who guides meditation classes and was so excited about our trip she invited us on another, to stay with her in Washington D.C. And a man from San Diego (not Ron Burgandy) who mentioned concern for our Mexi-plans but otherwise seemed to generally approve of everything I was about. We shared a short but detailed conversation about my views on life/this trip/etc. His most memorable quote, however, was "[glancing at Destiny] she seems like the crazier one. Keep her out of Mexico." This makes me laugh but is probably accurate.

In a few short hours the adventure officially kicks off with a celebration of being in California and of course the one-week anniversary of my 21st birthday which needs to be celebrated with even more enthusiasm than the original because of all the great things happening simultaneously. My excitement has only grown and will continue to grow exponentially as I get closer and closer to Dream Journey (shortened hereafter to DJ which is coincidentally our initials...heyyyy)

More later after D and J encounter DJ

Another chapter of life ended

Much like my dear friend Destiny I am going to start a blog...I feel like a lot of things in my life are ridiculous and out of the ordinary so might as well entertain myself among others.

As of today around 7:45pm I am no longer a resident of Iowa City. Three years, a degree, a lost friendship, and countless gained friendships happened there so I suppose you could say a lot of shit went down. It felt odd leaving tonight. My empty room was sad to look at. I just packed all my stuff into boxes and left like it was nothing, no celebration or goodbye party or anything, just a casual "bye apartment!" and on the road I went. It could have everything to do with the fact that I am preoccupied with the fact that I'm going on the most perfect dream vacation this Wednesday.

Perfect Dream Vacation Itinerary:
1. Fly to L.A. (for 14$ mind you)
2. Party with new and old friends
3. Meet up with Auren and Jonathon and Sean
4. Interview for a wellness coaching job
5. Party more

Part 2: Road Trip
First up north through Cali, camp a little, couch surf a little, hug a redwood, etc.
Then down to VEGAS! Dangerous but exciting
Then I'm not sure. Do I fly home? Do I continue the magical mystery tour? I'm basically putting these decisions into the hands of the universe because it was fate that made me happen upon these amazing people and this opportunity to see the world and the country in a light I've never seen. Living in the moment is something I have always been terrible at doing. I've been a planner since I can remember, but letting go feels good. So in the moment I will stay, I like it here.

Sadly this beautiful adventure will have to end at some point and then I'm back in Des Moines, back in the waiting place, to make money and spend time with family until my next adventure. I give myself until the end of the year to decide where I'm going to live next but my plan is to move as far away as possible under the assumption that slowly but surely I'll gravitate back toward home.

I always thought that I would have more figured out upon graduating college. I also used to think that I would find the love of my life in college, and you can guess how accurate that assumption was. So freshly 21 with school behind me and life ahead of me...here goes

Keep tabs on me to find out where I am for the next few weeks...I'm guessing it will be pretty random