I work in an area of San Diego called Sorrento Valley. Basically, it is a large business park dotted with Starbucks' and food courts and lined with condos. Needless to say, "natural beauty" isn't the first thing that comes to mind when you exit the freeway. Driving past all the corporate warehouses used for human storage (also known as the 40+ hour work week) doesn't really inspire a lot of "ahhhs" and "omms".
So every day on my lunch break, equipped with Jennifer my friend and unofficial life coach, I go out and try to find the beauty in the business park. Look how carefully the landscaper planned that building entrance! How fun are those perky palm trees all standing in a row! That fountain is so peaceful! This grass feels so soft and squishy! Everywhere I look there is PROOF that someone at least tried to make this a nice place to spend the majority of my week.
I do this because, though I am willing to settle into this 40 hour form of "adulthood", I refuse to give up my Constitutional right to pursue happiness.
Every.
Single.
Day.
Every day gives you an opportunity for happiness. It may not be all day. It may not be bliss. But happiness is always there and ever available. We have to make the choice to acknowledge the joy that is inherent in life. Let that joy filter into the dark places that threaten to overwhelm you. The darkness is hostile and ready for takeover if you let it get out of control.
It is your choice. You wake up every morning completely in control of how you want to spend your day.
I choose happiness - even if it is just how pretty those flowers in front of the Verizon building looked on my drive in :)
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
The straw didn't break the Camel's back...
I take issue with the phrase "It was the straw that broke the camel's back."
The poor camel gets a pretty bad rap here. First we load her down with baggage, then just when she thinks she's found balance we add some straw on top and call her weak. Because she couldn't handle that last little bit. Because we forgot to realize that she has been hauling around all this weight and might already be tired. I think maybe that camel saw an out. Maybe the camel got tired of carrying around everyone's crap and just bailed.
I digress...
Venting is a healthy and normal part of life and friendship. We need to vent, to let out steam, to burst into a room, guns blazing screaming "Fuck this noise!" It's true. It feels good.
But there is a balance that must be struck. We have all been involved with someone who exhausts us. Leaves us wishing for that out, that injury, that ear sprain that prevents us from catching a piece of straw and losing it entirely.
The beauty that is inherent in friendship is that it is fluid. A constant and balanced exchange that keeps us teetering on the edge of sanity and stops one end from tumbling in. We all need to be able to carry the load as much as we all deserve the right to break down.
If you can't break down. If you don't have that out. If you don't have that camel who you can sometimes rely on when you're in an emotional desert, then you become a weak link. Eventually you get tired and dried up.
On the other hand:
If you can't listen. If you don't create that space. If you don't accept the weight of a friend who has been walking too long and could use a rest, then you become oppressive. A weight. Eventually you run out of people to walk alongside.
So take an inventory of your venting and think about who you need to thank for carrying you or who you could shoulder a little more weight for. Good friends are rare in this world, and the last thing you want to do is end up in the desert alone.
And let's leave Cliche the Camel alone.
The poor camel gets a pretty bad rap here. First we load her down with baggage, then just when she thinks she's found balance we add some straw on top and call her weak. Because she couldn't handle that last little bit. Because we forgot to realize that she has been hauling around all this weight and might already be tired. I think maybe that camel saw an out. Maybe the camel got tired of carrying around everyone's crap and just bailed.
I digress...
Venting is a healthy and normal part of life and friendship. We need to vent, to let out steam, to burst into a room, guns blazing screaming "Fuck this noise!" It's true. It feels good.
But there is a balance that must be struck. We have all been involved with someone who exhausts us. Leaves us wishing for that out, that injury, that ear sprain that prevents us from catching a piece of straw and losing it entirely.
The beauty that is inherent in friendship is that it is fluid. A constant and balanced exchange that keeps us teetering on the edge of sanity and stops one end from tumbling in. We all need to be able to carry the load as much as we all deserve the right to break down.
If you can't break down. If you don't have that out. If you don't have that camel who you can sometimes rely on when you're in an emotional desert, then you become a weak link. Eventually you get tired and dried up.
On the other hand:
If you can't listen. If you don't create that space. If you don't accept the weight of a friend who has been walking too long and could use a rest, then you become oppressive. A weight. Eventually you run out of people to walk alongside.
So take an inventory of your venting and think about who you need to thank for carrying you or who you could shoulder a little more weight for. Good friends are rare in this world, and the last thing you want to do is end up in the desert alone.
And let's leave Cliche the Camel alone.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Momenting
Living in the moment does not mean ignoring the rest of your moments. It just means embracing THIS moment without letting the others infringe upon it. Giving THIS moment the right to just be. Without bias. With love.
Three years ago, almost to the day, I was restless and lost. I didn't know where I wanted life ot take me or how to find out. I went to a psychic who told me to take my focus away from the end result and instead embrace the journey. "Embrace the journey?" I thought...yeah, like that was going to happen. I was graduating college and had the "real world" out there ominously inviting me to step up to bat. The thought stuck with me, but held no real ground until that summer.
Months later my life changed. Literally. If you are unfamiliar with my Dream Journey of 2009, it is well documented in previous blog posts. Basically the Universe opened up its arms and said "Hey Janssen. This is what that psychic was talking about. Now embrace the damn journey." During these three weeks a term was coined among our group: Momenting.
Momenting (verb) - what occurs when you are so involved in the present that everything around you stands still, and all that matters is what is happening right now. It's like feeling pure energy and love rush into you.
A lot of people experience momenting, mostly during orgasm. Some people are open to momenting at concerts and raves. Some during yoga and meditation. A select and lucky few in day to day life.
As I revisit this word, this idea, I want it. I want it every day. All of my moments. I want to moment in the grocery store. I want to moment at work. I want to moment in my dreams. Because why not? Why not try to radiate energy and love through every pore of your being? Why not become a transparency, a conductor for teh love and light and Ultimate that surrounds us? This is where we see true beauty, feel true joy, experience true awe. And we have the ability to do this every second that ticks by while we wait for something profound to happen.
The profound doesn't happen to us in miracles or extremes. The profound is happening right now as you're reading this. It is an opportunity that goes overlooked, a flower that you pass every day and fail to see, a person who you walk past who really needed that smile.
So my challenge to you is to EXPERIENCE your moments. Try momenting even if it is just for a night. It will change everything or nothing or some things. But what might you miss if you don't pay attention?
Peace and Love :)
Three years ago, almost to the day, I was restless and lost. I didn't know where I wanted life ot take me or how to find out. I went to a psychic who told me to take my focus away from the end result and instead embrace the journey. "Embrace the journey?" I thought...yeah, like that was going to happen. I was graduating college and had the "real world" out there ominously inviting me to step up to bat. The thought stuck with me, but held no real ground until that summer.
Months later my life changed. Literally. If you are unfamiliar with my Dream Journey of 2009, it is well documented in previous blog posts. Basically the Universe opened up its arms and said "Hey Janssen. This is what that psychic was talking about. Now embrace the damn journey." During these three weeks a term was coined among our group: Momenting.
Momenting (verb) - what occurs when you are so involved in the present that everything around you stands still, and all that matters is what is happening right now. It's like feeling pure energy and love rush into you.
A lot of people experience momenting, mostly during orgasm. Some people are open to momenting at concerts and raves. Some during yoga and meditation. A select and lucky few in day to day life.
As I revisit this word, this idea, I want it. I want it every day. All of my moments. I want to moment in the grocery store. I want to moment at work. I want to moment in my dreams. Because why not? Why not try to radiate energy and love through every pore of your being? Why not become a transparency, a conductor for teh love and light and Ultimate that surrounds us? This is where we see true beauty, feel true joy, experience true awe. And we have the ability to do this every second that ticks by while we wait for something profound to happen.
The profound doesn't happen to us in miracles or extremes. The profound is happening right now as you're reading this. It is an opportunity that goes overlooked, a flower that you pass every day and fail to see, a person who you walk past who really needed that smile.
So my challenge to you is to EXPERIENCE your moments. Try momenting even if it is just for a night. It will change everything or nothing or some things. But what might you miss if you don't pay attention?
Peace and Love :)
Thursday, March 1, 2012
Belly Goddess
Sunday evening I was hanging out at my yoga class as usual, enjoying some reggae and some flow and some general goodness. I had had a particularly stressful week and weekend and was really getting into my Shavasana for some much needed stillness.
My mind is quite loquacious which makes meditation and stillness pretty difficult, so I usually struggle with a focus during this portion of the class. With my hands on my belly I started to look inward and really hear and feel my breathing, and what I noticed was my heartbeat. There is was, pounding away in my belly like that were a completely normal place for one to feel their pulse. I have felt my belly pulse before, after a hard core workout or a truly mindblowing sexual encounter, but had never stopped to notice that it is there when I'm just at rest and glowing with post-yoga energy.
Then I started to think about all the other places I can feel my pulse: forehead, throat, heart, hands, lady business...
All of these parts of my body flow my life giving blood so forcefully through my veins that I can feel it. All these parts of my body are capable of giving love and life to me. And maybe to the world?
How to I give my love to the world? Through my thoughts, my words, keeping my heart open, my touch, my sex...
And so it seems, through my belly. Now I am not proud to admit that I have spent a long long time hating my belly. It was too soft, too round, too squishy, the button is too small, the curves aren't just right. Only recently have I been doing significant work mentally to accept and love ALL the parts of my body, even the squishy areas. So I did a little research on the power of a woman's belly. We all know that we can create and nurture a new life there. There are some cultures long ago that actually worshipped the power contained in and represented by a woman's belly. They were not supposed to be hard and flat and cold, but rather warm and full of love and life. There is even a belly goddess, Baubo, whose sole purpose was to spread joy and laughter and light to the other goddesses by dancing around and flashing her lady business and telling dirty jokes.
Our bellies are ENTIRELY made of love. They are there to give that love to the world. And in that moment, laying on my mat, I could feel the life force and love pulsing through my belly. It was sort of amazing.
So maybe I shouldn't hate that little squishy round pile of love so much. Maybe I should embrace it. Enjoy what it can do for me. Listen to it when it tells me something is wrong or everything is right. Stop shoving it into tight spaces that hide it from the world, stop covering it up with my hands when I'm out in public, stop sucking it in so hard that sometimes I realize I'm not even breathing. And just LOVE.
Because after all, what am I but a Belly Goddess, just waiting to dance :)
My mind is quite loquacious which makes meditation and stillness pretty difficult, so I usually struggle with a focus during this portion of the class. With my hands on my belly I started to look inward and really hear and feel my breathing, and what I noticed was my heartbeat. There is was, pounding away in my belly like that were a completely normal place for one to feel their pulse. I have felt my belly pulse before, after a hard core workout or a truly mindblowing sexual encounter, but had never stopped to notice that it is there when I'm just at rest and glowing with post-yoga energy.
Then I started to think about all the other places I can feel my pulse: forehead, throat, heart, hands, lady business...
All of these parts of my body flow my life giving blood so forcefully through my veins that I can feel it. All these parts of my body are capable of giving love and life to me. And maybe to the world?
How to I give my love to the world? Through my thoughts, my words, keeping my heart open, my touch, my sex...
And so it seems, through my belly. Now I am not proud to admit that I have spent a long long time hating my belly. It was too soft, too round, too squishy, the button is too small, the curves aren't just right. Only recently have I been doing significant work mentally to accept and love ALL the parts of my body, even the squishy areas. So I did a little research on the power of a woman's belly. We all know that we can create and nurture a new life there. There are some cultures long ago that actually worshipped the power contained in and represented by a woman's belly. They were not supposed to be hard and flat and cold, but rather warm and full of love and life. There is even a belly goddess, Baubo, whose sole purpose was to spread joy and laughter and light to the other goddesses by dancing around and flashing her lady business and telling dirty jokes.
Our bellies are ENTIRELY made of love. They are there to give that love to the world. And in that moment, laying on my mat, I could feel the life force and love pulsing through my belly. It was sort of amazing.
So maybe I shouldn't hate that little squishy round pile of love so much. Maybe I should embrace it. Enjoy what it can do for me. Listen to it when it tells me something is wrong or everything is right. Stop shoving it into tight spaces that hide it from the world, stop covering it up with my hands when I'm out in public, stop sucking it in so hard that sometimes I realize I'm not even breathing. And just LOVE.
Because after all, what am I but a Belly Goddess, just waiting to dance :)
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