Belly Goddess

Sunday evening I was hanging out at my yoga class as usual, enjoying some reggae and some flow and some general goodness. I had had a particularly stressful week and weekend and was really getting into my Shavasana for some much needed stillness.

My mind is quite loquacious which makes meditation and stillness pretty difficult, so I usually struggle with a focus during this portion of the class. With my hands on my belly I started to look inward and really hear and feel my breathing, and what I noticed was my heartbeat. There is was, pounding away in my belly like that were a completely normal place for one to feel their pulse. I have felt my belly pulse before, after a hard core workout or a truly mindblowing sexual encounter, but had never stopped to notice that it is there when I'm just at rest and glowing with post-yoga energy.

Then I started to think about all the other places I can feel my pulse: forehead, throat, heart, hands, lady business...

All of these parts of my body flow my life giving blood so forcefully through my veins that I can feel it. All these parts of my body are capable of giving love and life to me. And maybe to the world?

How to I give my love to the world? Through my thoughts, my words, keeping my heart open, my touch, my sex...

And so it seems, through my belly. Now I am not proud to admit that I have spent a long long time hating my belly. It was too soft, too round, too squishy, the button is too small, the curves aren't just right. Only recently have I been doing significant work mentally to accept and love ALL the parts of my body, even the squishy areas. So I did a little research on the power of a woman's belly. We all know that we can create and nurture a new life there. There are some cultures long ago that actually worshipped the power contained in and represented by a woman's belly. They were not supposed to be hard and flat and cold, but rather warm and full of love and life. There is even a belly goddess, Baubo, whose sole purpose was to spread joy and laughter and light to the other goddesses by dancing around and flashing her lady business and telling dirty jokes.

Our bellies are ENTIRELY made of love. They are there to give that love to the world. And in that moment, laying on my mat, I could feel the life force and love pulsing through my belly. It was sort of amazing.

So maybe I shouldn't hate that little squishy round pile of love so much. Maybe I should embrace it. Enjoy what it can do for me. Listen to it when it tells me something is wrong or everything is right. Stop shoving it into tight spaces that hide it from the world, stop covering it up with my hands when I'm out in public, stop sucking it in so hard that sometimes I realize I'm not even breathing. And just LOVE.

Because after all, what am I but a Belly Goddess, just waiting to dance :)